Parenting

Brandi asked a good question about when parents should/do let their children start to make their own decisions (a long time ago, sorry Brandi for waiting so long). Well, I'm not sure I'm the best person to ask about parenting, but my parents were great so maybe i do know a few things...

Allowing children to make their own decisions is something that, I believe, should grow over time as their responsibilities grow. As newborns they are entirely dependant upon their parents and they happen to be cute enough to get away with that. We love those squishy little things so much we'll do anything for them! As they grow we start making them go potty and eventually wipe their own bums. We give them chores and let them play outside alone eventually. As they grow they can play at friends houses and... I think you get the idea.

Well making their own decision on things grows in the same manner. it starts with simple things like what they want to wear. My 9 year old dresses himself and has done so for a long time. Now, we still have that veto power, so when he comes out wearing shorts in the darkness of January in Alaska, we send him back to try again. But we let him make the decision.

It starts simply and grows from there. As they mature we let them decide more things. We always advise them and sometimes let them learn my not correcting them. My son lost his pocket knife because he didn't think dad was right that it would fall out of the pocket he put it in. We all need those learning moments.

Eventually kids grow up to the point where you can't stop them from making their own decisions, and this is a good thing. We want our kids to eventually become adults. The trick is to accept it when it happens, and of course, we struggle when they make bad decisions. Hopefully parents and children have maintained a healthy enough relationship through the tumultuous teen years so the young adult children feel safe and comfortable enough to come to their parents with difficult decisions. Which can be hard for parents as well. We need to be careful not to alienate them.

Anyways, I think that is more than enough elaboration on the subject.